Brain farts suck. Because “stink”
is a word too weak. Not only do you look retarded, but when this shit
happens, you are practically disconnected from the world for a good
amount of time. Oh, but our gassy brains must relieve the pressure in
one way or another. For some reason, it happens in the most opportune
moments. I hate brain farts. You hate brain farts. My dog hates brain
farts. Nevermind, he is in a constant brain fart.
I could not start
enumerating the countless occasions these little craps destroyed a
perfectly good conversation. I, though, have a theory on how brain
farts work. Let's take something simple for an example; a visit
to your good friend.
Of course, as you
walk to your friend's place, your brain works at 139% of its
capacity, analyzing every little crap that can be thought of, in a
range of a universe.
Brain(IQ>=120):
Well, my dear sir, most certainly the matter that is of
concern in the subject of the wormholes, time travel and the theory
of relativity is that all of the mentioned before are related in one
way or another. Also, the complexity of the paramecium is something
far from being overestimated, yes? Oh, I am most certain that the
answer to that math homework is by applying the formula in order to
obtain a sine and get rid of the cosine. That way, the limit will be
determinable.
Whereas
while you are with your friend, casually enjoying a beer and trying
to find out just how much you can restrain yourself from spilling
beer trough your nose all over your friend's leather couch while they
try to apply a more professional communication method and imitate
primate facial expressions...
Brain(IQ~=100):
Hey there, chum. No,
don't worry, beer doesn't stain. Okay, just laugh hysterically
without any actual reason now. And yes, liver will be okay, I am
keeping one eye on him, you just glub down another can of beer. Look,
a vase. Now laugh at that too. At least it's something you can laugh
at, rather than nothing.
As
for when your friend's intimidating parent/tutor/older sibling comes
in the room, and even worse, asks
you how your life has been,
things get dead.
Brain(IQ<=40):*tsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss*
(pressure released) .......................................... . . . . . . .......... ... ...................... ........
Mouth:blrblrldddnosdnpeanutbutterjellytiem.
Yes, I ate cheese today.
Pretty
much a continuous strident sound coming from some apparatus that
would measure the activity of the brain. Not to mention that scumbag
brain wakes up immediately after the wild relative leaves the room,
just to remind you that you are stupid. Most likely, the brain is
tired after you have been thinking about existential stuff while
walking to your friend, and a big amount of pressure was pressing
against it. And it had to fart.
Next
time you walk down the street, just walk.
Cheers~
